Friday, 29 June 2012

Real Friends Do Not Encourage You To Jeopardise Your Health

Why is it that when someone overweight says, "I am going on a diet", or "I need to lose some weight", there are always sycophants who say things like, "Oh babe*, you look lovely... you have a beautiful figure - you don't need to lose anything"... even when the person is blatantly overweight or even obese (28lbs + is considered obese)?

Are people:
1. Thick - can't/won't think, so offer up a completely glib remark
2. Lying - afraid of hurting the feelings of others
3. Lying - secretly glad their friend is overweight because they think it makes them look good
4. Lying - an overweight friend justifies their own weight issues, and makes them feel better about themselves
5. All of the above
6. Telling the truth - they genuinely believe that being overweight looks nice

Surely a *real* friend would be supportive? They wouldn't tell someone they look lovely when clearly the person doesn't feel that way?

I don't mean someone wanting to lose 'a few pounds' (although even then, if someone feels they need to lose 7lbs, for example, they should still be supported), I'm talking about people who are obviously overweight. It's really galling to hear some of my friends being told they 'look fine', when what they are asking for is support (because they need it). It is unhealthy to be overweight, why would anyone encourage someone they allegedly care for to be unhealthy?

If someone doesn't feel right, and feels they don't look right, surely their feelings should be respected, and not be met with throwaway comments because 'friends' cannot or will not be honest with each other? Surely a real friend would be concerned for a friend's health and wellbeing, and would tell them the truth?

Real friends don't encourage indulgent beer and cake consumption!

*Could there be a worse expression?


Nelli said...

Reasons No 3 & 4 are far more common than you think. Women, particularly have a habit of trying to sabotage other women who want to lose weight.

sapphireblue said...

My husband is in denial that I'm way overweight. He'll say "You not that bad." 60 to 70 is not bad? Of course, he's way over too, your reasons would fit the list.

My friends, I think they are afraid to hurt my feelings.