I've not strayed from the path of staying within my cals but workouts have gone to pot (I've done very little for the past week); worse, I feel like I'm in a deep, dark hole right now, trying to claw my way out.
It's no big deal really but I've managed to get myself into a hormonal funk (thank you peri-menopause), and while I know it's only a temporary setback, and that as soon as 'it' arrives (assuming it ever will again), I'll stop being so damn emo (and be back to my cheery, positive, kick-ass self), at the moment everything is such a huge effort...and TBH, I feel utterly exhausted with the trying. And I've been trying so hard to not let it show.
So I apologise to all my wonderful friends - and you are all so very wonderful - I'm aware that I've been a lousy chum recently but in all honesty, despite knowing that you'd tell me exactly what I'd tell you, I still cannot bring myself to inflict this awful melancholy on you.
I know you'd tell me that friends help each other; they listen; they comfort; they cheer; they are there through good times and bad. I absolutely know that, and I know that each and every one of you would be there with the tissues, as I would with you....but my innate stubborn-ness kicks in and tells me that it's an admission of failure to cry in front of my friends.
Anyway, today is the day I kick this in the arse. I really can't do much about the fact that ToM has gone AWOL again but I can decide to not let my horrible hormonal state dictate how I live my life. I have a bit of a backlog of work to catch up with (because I've been next to useless all week), plus I am helping my lovely friend, Victoria, with her PR for her debut fashion show next week (Jerboa Jewellery - check it out, it's awesome)...AND I'm going to make myself a new dress for the occasion. Heck, it's London Fashion Week - I have a duty to show these up and coming designers what real style is! ;-)
So this is me, creatively going off to distract myself...normal service will be resumed ASAP.
